Vaati's Little Crusaders
by Lord Siravant
Summary: The Cutie Mark Crusaders besiege castles, battle each other, and rescue princesses in a series of mock battles they play at a play castle built just for them. Epic fights and melodramatic deaths ensue. Be warned: your heart may explode from the cuteness. CMC-centric oneshots that take place in the Equestrian Wind Mage continuity.
1. The Siege

A trio of adventuring ponies hunkered down in a thick patch of shrubbery as they eyed their target before them. Scootaloo, the leader, brought out a pair of binoculars and looked through them at the nearby castle. A group of impish creatures with large, squinted yellow eyes, large teeth, even larger ears, and devil-like horns vigorously guarded the small fortress, warily glancing about for intruders. "Okay, warriors," Scootaloo whispered to her two faithful companions, Sweetie Belle and Applebloom. "Looks like there's four of them waiting for us up there. One's got a bow, the rest got pitchforks."

"Heh, that sounds easy!" Applebloom snickered.

"So what's our plan of attack?" Sweetie Belle asked. "There's four of them and three of us, and they got an archer. We need to take him out as quickly as possible."

"I agree," Scootaloo answered. "I'll take out the archer. Applebloom, use your grappling hook to get yourself and Sweetie Belle onto the wall so we can take care of the rest. Then their treasure's as good as ours!"

"Yeah!" the other two crusaders spoke, bumping hooves in anticipation of a certain victory.

Scootaloo then withdrew her trusty sword and shield. Sweetie Belle summoned her spear with her magic. Applebloom readied her grappling hook. Once they were all prepared, Scootaloo jumped out of the bushes and took to the air, pointing her blade at the surprised castle defenders. "_CHAAAAAAARGE_!" she cried.

The other crusaders rose up, letting loose their own battle cries as they galloped forth, the defending Miniblins scrambling to get to their positions. The three pitchfork-wielding Miniblins defended the wall, while the archer took up the right tower. Scootaloo boldly flew up to the enemy battlements just out of melee range to taunt the creatures. "Servants of evil!" she boasted. "Your doom is at hoof! Prepare to meet your maker!"

The Miniblin archer readied an arrow and aimed at the heroic pegasus. "_Nyeh nah_!" it cried, firing at Scootaloo.

Scootaloo raised her shield in the nick of time, and the arrow bounced harmlessly off of it. "Ha!" she proudly proclaimed. "Give it up, scrawny! You can't hit me!"

"_Nyeh_!" the Miniblin countered, readying another arrow.

Scootaloo braced herself, ready to lift her shield at a moment's notice.

The Miniblin drew back the bowstring.

Scootaloo tensed, waiting for the moment to strike.

And then the archer abruptly changed its aim, instead aiming towards the ground. Scootaloo didn't even have a chance to react before the Miniblin loosed its deadly dart…

…and found its mark.

"Agh!" Sweetie Belle suddenly cried, recoiling as she felt the dreaded arrow pierce her soft belly. "T-they got me!"

"SWEETIE BELLE!" Scootaloo and Applebloom cried out in unison as their comrade fell to her hooves and grasped at the instrument of her doom.

"_Nyehehehehehe_!" the Miniblin cackled at its victory.

Scootaloo glared at the wretched monster. "You'll pay for that, you horrid beast!"

She then dove in, sword at the ready. The Miniblin only had time to widen its eyes in realization before Scootaloo's sword hit home, knocking it off the tower where it would meet its own demise, screeching "_NYEEEEEEEH_!" all the way down. Before the remaining Miniblins could reach her, Scootaloo flew back down to her fallen friend's side. Sweetie Belle lay on her back, her head resting on Applebloom's knees. "Sweetie Belle," Scootaloo mourned.

Sweetie Belle looked up at her dear friends and coughed weakly. "It…it's too late for me. Go…get the treasure…Don't…let them…win…"

And then Sweetie Belle's eyes closed, and she went limp in Applebloom's hold. "S-she's gone," Applebloom whimpered, looking up at Scootaloo with a mournful expression.

Scootaloo's eyes steeled. "Then we must not let her sacrifice be in vain! Let's end this!"

Applebloom nodded, and the two of them returned to battle. Applebloom stood on her hind legs and twirled the grappling hook over her head to gain momentum as Scootaloo flew towards the battlements to give her a chance to get up there. Applebloom let her grappling hook fly, and struck her mark. Making sure it was firmly hooked onto the wall, Applebloom began to climb.

Meanwhile, Scootaloo landed on all fours on the battlements herself, the three Miniblins' attention now directed at her. They eagerly brandished their tridents in preparation for a tough fight. "_Nyeh neh_!" they chorused. "_Ny nai_! _Na nyeh_!"

Scootaloo flashed a feral grin, brandishing her own weapons. "Come at me, bro."

At that moment, Applebloom reached the top and hopped onto the battlements. She then reached over her shoulder and armed herself with her trusty battle axe. "Hey!" she yelled, catching the Miniblins' attention as well. "Y'all didn't forget 'bout little ol' me, did'ja?"

One of the Miniblins broke off from the impending fight with Scootaloo and confronted the battle-ready farmpony. "Nyeh!" it shrieked as it jabbed at Applebloom.

"H'yah!" Applebloom yelled, parrying the blow with her axe, forcing the imp back.

The Miniblin leaped back out of range of Applebloom's swing, scrutinizing its opponent warily. Meanwhile, Scootaloo was forced to fight off two foes at once. They tried to pin her against the wall, but Scootaloo caught on to their tactic and took flight once more, landing on the opposite side to turn the situation against them. In response, one went over the edge and crawled across the wall like a gecko, getting back onto the battlements directly behind Scootaloo. Seeing this, Scootaloo pushed the other one back with her shield to disorient it and tried to take the remaining one out before its ally could recover. The Miniblin jabbed at her, but she turned it aside with her sword and knocked its weapon out of its hands with her shield. Weaponless, the Miniblin could only look on as Scootaloo thrust her sword into its chest, the poor creature letting out a woeful cry before collapsing at her hooves.

The other Miniblin had recovered by this time and pressed its attack, trying to keep Scootaloo on the defensive. At the same time, Applebloom was furiously dueling her opponent, trying to hack it down, but it always managed to counter her attacks with its pitchfork. Frustrated, she swung at the Miniblin's head, attempting to rend it from its shoulders.

A fatal mistake.

The axe struck only empty air, and before Applebloom could comprehend the consequences of what had transpired, she watched in horror as her enemy rose up and plunged its weapon into her belly. "Da-dink!" the Miniblin cackled in triumph.

Applebloom's eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. "Aargh! Oh no!" she moaned. "Ah'm done for!"

Scootaloo gasped as she saw the ultimate fate of her remaining friend. "Applebloom! Nooooo!"

Applebloom looked at Scootaloo, sorrow in her eyes. "Ah'm sorry, Scootaloo…"

And then the farmpony fell on her back, closed her eyes, and died. Her slayer then turned towards Scootaloo, eager to finish her as well. But Scootaloo wasn't going to have any of that. Fueled by the loss of her friends and comrades, she went on the attack, cutting down her foe before confronting the last Miniblin. The monster giggled menacingly. "_Nyehehehehehehehehehe_!"

"Laugh in Tartarus, you murderer!" Scootaloo yelled, swinging her sword.

The Miniblin parried, but Scootaloo followed up by pushing with her shield, sending it towards the edge. She drew back just before the Miniblin could fall off. As it desperately attempted to maintain its balance, Scootaloo landed the finishing blow, slashing open the Miniblin's belly with enough momentum to send it over the edge. The mortally-wounded creature wailed all the way to the bottom before falling silent as it hit the ground.

And just like that, the battle was over. Scootaloo looked over the fallen bodies of her enemies and her friends and sighed sadly. "We won," she morosely spoke to nopony in particular. "The treasure is mine, but…I have nopony to share it with. My friends are all dead, and my victory feels hollow. My heart is hollow. I…cannot go on."

Scootaloo then turned her own sword on herself, pointing its sharpened tip towards her own belly. "And thus, Scootaloo, adventurer extraordinaire, draws her last breath…"

And then she plunged her sword into her own gut, seppuku-style, letting out a final groan. "Goodbye, world…"

And then Scootaloo fell on her back and closed her eyes, unmoving forevermore. Silence reigned across the battlefield as another trio of figures walked onto the scene, taking note of the unmoving bodies of the fallen splayed all around the place. "Well, they look like they're havin' fun," Applejack dryly commented.

Vaati scoffed. "Fun? Dear Applejack, war games are serious business. Why, what happened here is an event that shall go down in the pages of history as a truly memorable battle. Though I think it could have done without the melodramatics."

"War games?" Rarity huffed. "Such uncouth behavior for young fillies…"

Vaati and Applejack gave her a look. "B-but at least they appear to be enjoying themselves, right?" she hastily corrected with a nervous smile.

At the sounds of their family members' voices, the previously-dead Cutie Mark Crusaders immediately got up and brushed themselves off, the Miniblins following suit. Sweetie Belle used her magic to return the foam-tipped arrow used to usher in her pretend demise to the Miniblin archer, while the other Miniblins picked the rubber balls from the tips of their pitchforks that had rendered their weapons suitable for play-fighting. Scootaloo picked up her wooden sword and shield and flew up to Vaati. "Hey, Dad!" she greeted cheerfully.

Vaati smiled. "I take it you all had fun testing out the new play castle Big Mac built for you guys?"

"Uh huh," Scootaloo replied, nodding her head vigorously, the Miniblins chattering in agreement.

"That was fun!" Sweetie Belle said. "We should do that again sometime!"

"I'm sure it was, Sweetie dear," Rarity responded gently. "Now let's get you home. Dinner's almost ready and you need to be ready for school tomorrow."

Sweetie Belle sighed. "Okay, sis." She looked over at her friends. "Bye, Scootaloo! Bye, Applebloom! Bye, Miniblins!"

"Bye!" they all chorused.

"See you later, Applejack, Vaati," Rarity politely bade as they headed back towards the main part of town.

"Dinner's ready, sugarcube," Applejack said, nudging her little sister. "Ya need to eat so we can git-cha to bed at a decent hour so you can git ready fer school in the mornin'."

"Okay," Applebloom agreed, fetching her wooden axe and grappling hook. "Bye, guys! See ya tomorrow!"

"See ya, Vaati," Applejack said as she and Applebloom headed home.

"Farewell," Vaati responded.

"Bye!" Scootaloo said, the Miniblins chattering goodbyes as well in their own language.

Vaati looked down at his charges. "Alright, little warriors of legend," he teased. "Ready to go?"

Scootaloo and the Miniblins all nodded in confirmation, and thus Vaati teleported them all back to the palace. Today had definitely been a fun day for Scootaloo, and she hoped she could get some other classmates in on the fun in the future.


	2. A Damsel in Distress

It had all transpired in the dead of night. The wicked Miniblins, sent by their evil leader, Scootaloo the Warlord, had snuck into the castle of the fair Princess Sweetie Belle and stolen her away. Now she was trapped in Scootaloo's evil fortress, and only the great warrior Applebloom could save the princess. And thus, the young farmpony-turned-hero found herself approaching Scootaloo's castle. Though the sun shined brightly upon the land, Applebloom knew that its warmth would not reach the cursed stronghold of the wicked warlord.

There! She could see them now.

Scootaloo herself stood on the battlements, flanked by her ever-faithful Miniblin guards. Princess Sweetie Belle stood high up on the left tower, catching sight of her savior. Putting a hoof dramatically to her head, Sweetie Belle wailed, "Oh, great hero Applebloom! Save me from the clutches of this heartless tyrant!"

Scootaloo's eyes fell on her enemy as well, and she cracked a menacing grin. "Ah, if it isn't the mighty warrior Applebloom! Come to save the Princess, did you? Well, I'm afraid that all you'll meet today is your doom! Get her, my faithful minions!"

The Miniblin entourage cackled in sinister glee as they rattled their pitchforks and began climbing down the castle wall towards the ground. "Unleash Tartarus if ya want!" Applebloom bravely shouted back. "But Ah'll never stop fightin' 'til Ah've rescued the princess and run ya through with mah blade 'a justice!"

Scootaloo laughed coldly. "We'll see about that!"

The first of the Miniblins soon approached her, cackling evilly as it leveled its trident at her. Applebloom grinned and got out her sword and shield. "Ya want summa this?" she challenged.

"Nyeh na!" the Miniblin answered, thrusting.

Applebloom parried with her sword and moved in, beaning it on the head with her blade and caving in its skull. The monster dropped like a sack of potatoes as two more approached. Emboldened by her first kill, Applebloom charged her opponents, swinging left and right. Though her foes were many, their skill was poor, and she was driven by a righteous cause. None could hope to stand against the great warrior. The Miniblins cried out in despair as they were cut down one by one, hopeless against their more-experienced enemy.

The Warlord Scootaloo sternly looked on as her minions fell to her enemy's sword. How useless they all were. She would not fall as they did. None could dare hope to slay the greatest of all warlords! Soon Applebloom was surrounded by the lifeless bodies of her enemies, glancing up at Scootaloo with a grim "I'm-coming-for-you" smirk. Scootaloo scoffed. "So, you managed to beat my minions. Good job, I guess. But you're wrong if you think you can defeat me!"

Applebloom responded by flinging her grappling hook onto the wall and pulling herself up to meet her nemesis. Scootaloo did not bother to push her off; so confident was she in her own impending victory that she didn't even feel the need to use such an underhoofed tactic. Once Applebloom reached the top and got into battle position, Scootaloo smirked, flourishing her own trusty sword, her legendary blade said to have been responsible for the doom of many a brave warrior before Applebloom. "You little foal! You think you can gut me with your silly little 'sword of justice'? I'm afraid you got it the other way 'round, chump! _I'll_ be the one to run _you_ through! Prepare to die, Applebloom!"

"Have at ya!" Applebloom cried, raising her sword.

Hero and villain clashed, Princess Sweetie Belle looking on with bated breath. Both opponents were greatly skilled, showing off every feat of swordplay they knew in an effort to gain an advantage. After a few minutes of sword-fighting, they locked blades and pushed against each other. "Ngh…ya won't win, Scootaloo," Applebloom vowed through her exertion. "Ah'll make sure of it!"

Scootaloo smirked fiendishly. "That's what you think," she replied.

Without warning, Scootaloo spread her wings and took to the air, causing Applebloom to nearly lose her balance. She had barely managed to avoid tumbling off the edge of the battlements when Scootaloo dove in for the kill. Defending herself, Applebloom raised her shield. Though the shield absorbed Scootaloo's blow, saving the young warrior from a premature demise, the force of it knocked the shield out of her hoof. Applebloom's eyes widened as Scootaloo laughed. "It's just a matter of time, Applebloom!" she boasted with a grin. "I'm the greatest warlord of them all! My blade'll rip through your gut just like it did with every other warrior who tried to rescue the princess before!"

Applebloom gritted her teeth. "Yer _wrong_!" she declared, throwing all defensive strategy out the window as she pressed her attack, forcing Scootaloo on the defensive.

The two ponies traded blows relentlessly, the sounds of their grunts of exertion and the clash of their weapons ringing in the air. Scootaloo was not going to go down easily, though, and she pushed back, utilizing all her skill to turn the tables on her opponent. Thus they reached a standstill in the center of the battlements, dueling relentlessly, neither willing to move an inch further.

Yet despite all her skills, despite her determination to win, Scootaloo realized something awful: she was becoming fatigued. Her sword-arm was tiring, and though Applebloom was showing shades of fatigue herself, her years on the farm and the battlefield had given her an extra edge. Scootaloo simply could not compare in the end with Applebloom's seasoned endurance. As the reality sunk in, Applebloom made a decisive blow, sending Scootaloo's sword flying from her hoof over the battlements.

Tired and defeated, Scootaloo fell on her back, looking up into the eyes of her enemy…into the eyes of her own inevitable doom. "I…lost," she breathed, her shock evident as Applebloom grinned in victory, lifting her own sword over her head.

"Yer reign 'a terror's over, Scootaloo the Warlord," Applebloom declared.

Scootaloo was too exhausted to lift a hoof to defend herself or move away. There was nothing now that would stop the sword of her victorious foe from plunging into her defenseless belly and ending her once and for all.

Nothing except…

"_Da-denk_!"

Applebloom blinked in surprise at the noise that came from behind her. "What the-?"

Before she could turn though, the great warrior felt something sharp pierce deep into her back. Her eyes bugged out as she realized what had happened: a single Miniblin had stayed behind in the castle and had been waiting for the right moment to strike. Just when she had been about to kill her foe and save the princess, she herself had now been undone by one overlooked enemy.

"Ah…ponyfeathers," Applebloom moaned as she slumped forward and fell dead on her tummy, the victorious Miniblin doing a dance over her fresh corpse.

"_Da-dink_! _Na nyah_! _Nyeh nah_!" it chanted.

Scootaloo just stared slack-jawed at her fallen foe, breathing heavily. And then her mouth curved upwards into an ecstatic grin as she dragged herself to her hooves. "I…I won…Ha ha! I won! See that, Princess?!"

She turned around and looked into the disbelieving gaze of Princess Sweetie Belle. "Your hero's dead, Princess! I win! Your kingdom is now mine!"

Scootaloo stood upright on her hind legs, threw her head back, and laughed insanely.

_Thunk_!

Scootaloo's laughter cut abruptly short at the noise. She opened her eyes and gazed down with disbelief at the trident now poking out of her tummy. During her overconfident burst of laughter, the princess had magicked one of the fallen Miniblins' weapon over to herself and impaled Scootaloo while she was distracted. Scootaloo gripped the weapon with both hooves as she stared at a cold-eyed Sweetie Belle, who released her magic hold of the trident. "Are…you bucking kidding me?" Scootaloo wheezed in pained astonishment.

And then the warlord fell on her back, her eyes closing as death took hold. The last Miniblin shrieked as it saw its master fall, and then glared at the princess. Before Sweetie Belle could do anything more than stand on her hind legs in a vain attempt to back away, the angry Miniblin tossed its spear like a javelin, nailing Sweetie Belle in the spot right between her chest and tummy. "Aagh! Oh no!" she woefully cried as she grasped at the weapon of her demise. "My subjects…Forgive me…Your princess…has drawn her last…breath."

And thus, Sweetie Belle slumped against the wall of the tower and perished herself, leaving the Miniblin as the last remaining survivor of this particular battle. It hesitantly glanced around the battlefield. "Nyeh?" it whimpered.

But then its sorrow faded as it realized something; it was now the new warlord! And then its sadness returned as it realized there were no minions left for it to command and no princess for them to steal.

At that moment, Sweetie Belle saw fit to open her eyes and let go of the trident she had been holding against her body to make it look like it was sticking out of her and looked over the tower at the scene. "Well, that didn't go the way it was supposed to," she said.

"Yeah, no kidding," Scootaloo agreed from where she lay, letting go of the trident she had been poking against her belly as she sat up. She looked over at the surviving Miniblin. "Didn't you know the good guy's supposed to win and rescue the princess?"

The Miniblin nonchalantly shrugged. "_Nyeh neh_."

"Well Ah think it made things a little more interestin', at least," Applebloom pointed out as she got to her hooves.

Seeing that the others were getting up, the Miniblins scattered all over the field stood up as well, chattering amongst themselves.

"Alright, fillies and gentlecolts!" came the sudden voice of Applejack as she trotted onto the scene. "Lunch is ready for y'all! Come an' git it!"

And just like that, three hungry fillies, along with seven equally-famished Miniblins, rushed past Applejack as they swarmed towards the farmhouse, the elder farmpony chuckling in amusement as she brought up the rear.


End file.
